A different life emerges.

Twenty years ago, on the 18th March 1991, I finally managed to crawl away from a life that was slowly killing me.  I’d been caught in a disastrous marriage, one which had reduced me to a shadow of my former self.  But finally I accepted that despite the difficulties ahead if I chose to leave, they would be nothing to what I’d face if I continued to stay in a demeaning situation.

Domestic violence takes many forms.  Domestic violence is never acceptable.  Services are available to help.

Domestic violence has a recognised cycle

I faced many difficulties in starting over, but never did I regret my decision.  My only regret was that I’d allowed myself to get caught into such a situation in the first place.  A bitter lesson to learn.  My body would never be quite the same again and much work was required to heal the psychological damage.  It’s a work in progress….

It is not without difficulty that I write this, as I am by nature a private person.  However, I strongly believe in the importance of speaking up.  Too long has Domestic Violence not been talked about but hidden in a code of silence.  Famous people are speaking up now too.

Tragically many women still die as a result of domestic violence.

Each year I quietly celebrate my new life, with gratitude for the chance to do so.  This year I’m once again marking the day, but in a more public manner with the aim that it may somewhere,  somehow, encourage another to take a step towards reclaiming their own life. 

From the flames, a different life emerges.


12 thoughts on “A different life emerges.

    • Heather, bravery comes in many forms – I suggest that we all display bravery by simply facing each day. My troubles have just given me a chance to know my own strengths and weaknesses better. For that I am grateful:-)

  1. So much that we don’t know about the people we pass in the street (or those whose blogs we read.) We make assumptions about these people who look happy – that they have perfect lives….
    I am so glad you stood up for yourself and made a new life. Its a tough thing – hard but so rewarding.

    • Thanks Jackie:-) Yes, we all have our stories – just peel back the veneer and the imperfections are there. Some are simply a little more visible than others:-) Yet somehow the human spirit continues to persevere, and that to me is the most amazing thing.

  2. Thanks for sharing this!

    From previous posts of yours I had a suspicion that you went through such a terrible experience, sad to hear this impression of mine was actually true. 😦

    However, now to the positive thing:
    Congratulations to your decision, your courage – and your new life!
    Don’t let this be just another day of the year, but celebrate it. With so many things that drag us down each and every day, it is important to celebrate every personal success from small ones to the really big and important ones like this one.

    So I’ll raise my glass for you today!

    • John, it is most definitely not only women who suffer from domestic violence. Men also suffer. As I said, it comes in many forms. If it’s been socially unacceptable for women to speak up, imagine how difficult it must seem to a man! Personally, I’d like a name change. I call it violence. First and foremost it is violent behaviour. Which usually takes place in the home. Never make assumptions about who the perpetrator is, just be aware that it is NEVER acceptable to behave in a controlling manner.

  3. It does indeed take a strong person to stand up for themselves, to believe in themselves enough to go down a path that can sometimes be very scary – to start a new life on their own. You did it!! My heart-felt congratulations to you!! 🙂

    • Thanks Holly. As a mother of boys, you have an opportunity to influence them positively, as I’m sure you’ll do:-)

  4. Thank you for sharing. I am encouraged by your willingness to open up. I am thankful for the outcome of the changes you have made in your life as it has produced, in the least, a form of expression by which you can influence people by your blog.

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